Journals55
Newest
New Project
2 min read
There is a lot on my mind, a lot that has been weighing down on me for a very long time. There is no real words to describe what I am feeling, so I'm attempting to show all of this in a three to four part series of new deviations that I will be posting within the next few days or so. No, they will not be happy, yes they will be dark and yes, I am utterly ashamed of every word I will write in them. This is not meant to worry anyone, it is not meant to make anyone feel guilty and it is not me begging for help or anything else. This is what I do, I write. Those of you who actually do know me will know how it is I work, and I am sorry for what I will be posting, I truly am. There are so many of you that have changed my life, keep my balanced on a daily basis and I feel like I have taken many of you for granted. To my friends and family, thank you, for sticking by me for so long, you truly do mean the world to me.
For what comes next, I don't know how they will look, or how they will change your perceptions of me, but all I ask is that you bear with me in my...moments of weakness, perhaps even in my moments of madness. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, the next day, or even a year from now, but all I can hope for, all that I pray for is that you all will still be by my side.
I love you, my friends, each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart.
For what comes next, I don't know how they will look, or how they will change your perceptions of me, but all I ask is that you bear with me in my...moments of weakness, perhaps even in my moments of madness. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, the next day, or even a year from now, but all I can hope for, all that I pray for is that you all will still be by my side.
I love you, my friends, each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart.
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Monster
1 min read
Holy SHIT it's been a long time since I wrote anything on here!
I'd say it's about time I actually started using DA again, don't you think?
Now that I've finally come to terms with a couple of things in my life I'm DONE with sitting around waiting for something to happen. My desire to write has finally returned and in full force; no more months upon months with no ideas, this time there's no stopping me! Lyrics, poems, maybe even a short story or two, you can be sure this poor desolate page is gonna get jumpstarted again; hell I'm working on something as I type this!
So until next time my friends, keep the spirit alive, keep on doing the amazing things you do and most of all...
ROCK ON!
I'd say it's about time I actually started using DA again, don't you think?
Now that I've finally come to terms with a couple of things in my life I'm DONE with sitting around waiting for something to happen. My desire to write has finally returned and in full force; no more months upon months with no ideas, this time there's no stopping me! Lyrics, poems, maybe even a short story or two, you can be sure this poor desolate page is gonna get jumpstarted again; hell I'm working on something as I type this!
So until next time my friends, keep the spirit alive, keep on doing the amazing things you do and most of all...
ROCK ON!
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Well, this ought to be fun~
1 min read
Well, college is a pain, but I love it so~
I'm taking an AMAZING Psychology class this quarter, and it's unlocked my writing potential in a way that I never had before. I'm excited about a lot of things again, and for once I'm actully feeling...happy. It's slow steps for sure, but I am working on making my life better, one thing at a time.
I'm taking an AMAZING Psychology class this quarter, and it's unlocked my writing potential in a way that I never had before. I'm excited about a lot of things again, and for once I'm actully feeling...happy. It's slow steps for sure, but I am working on making my life better, one thing at a time.
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Unfinished in Mind, Hesitant in Heart
3 min read
It's been a long time since I've posted anything, or even really bothered to thank all of you who cared enough to follow me in the first place. As far as things stand I am indeed still writing, but mostly for my still-forming band, Stained Glass Bullet. Being a freshman in college I find so little time to really calm down and let anything just flow, so many of the song I have written lately feel forced, strained to put pushed out simply for the sake of doing SOMETHING. That is what I had hoped to avoid from day one, so now I realise that I may not have as much hope as I once did in my ability to make this work, let alone anything else in my life.
I know it sounds childish, probabaly even naive, but I hate feeling this alone.
The feelings I once had are gone, and I've put an unhealthy amount of time into trying to regain those feelings, by any way I can. I've lost any kind of concept of what the feelings of love really are, or what it even means to love someone the way I once did. My heart hesitates and fails when I try and reciprocate the feelings and desires that it once so easily shared with so many of the people around me. Until I can find the meaning in the heart again it remains frozen inside of me, waiting to be awoken once again. I don't know how long that will take, if ever at all but I still hold on to the hope that despite all the things I cannot comprehend there is still a reason to believe in love, of all kinds. Even now, there are only three people I can say "I love you" to, and know that there is meaning behind it for one reason or another.
To all my watchers, I have to thank you for the time you've been with me, following my quirky, sometimes pointless works that I seemingly throw out at random as I stumble through my daily life. Thank you for feeling the emotion I try and siphon off from this heart of mine and into my still fledgling works.
And to all my friends that deal with me on a daily basis, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for dealing with all that I am, and strive to one day be.
I know it sounds childish, probabaly even naive, but I hate feeling this alone.
The feelings I once had are gone, and I've put an unhealthy amount of time into trying to regain those feelings, by any way I can. I've lost any kind of concept of what the feelings of love really are, or what it even means to love someone the way I once did. My heart hesitates and fails when I try and reciprocate the feelings and desires that it once so easily shared with so many of the people around me. Until I can find the meaning in the heart again it remains frozen inside of me, waiting to be awoken once again. I don't know how long that will take, if ever at all but I still hold on to the hope that despite all the things I cannot comprehend there is still a reason to believe in love, of all kinds. Even now, there are only three people I can say "I love you" to, and know that there is meaning behind it for one reason or another.
To all my watchers, I have to thank you for the time you've been with me, following my quirky, sometimes pointless works that I seemingly throw out at random as I stumble through my daily life. Thank you for feeling the emotion I try and siphon off from this heart of mine and into my still fledgling works.
And to all my friends that deal with me on a daily basis, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for dealing with all that I am, and strive to one day be.
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Quizes cuz Im bored
7 min read
Weaboo Quiz
[x] You've seen at least one anime.
[x] You've read at least one manga.
[x] You watch anime/read manga on a regular basis
[x] You think that anime and western cartoons are two separate things
[ ] You're in anime club.
[ ] You've cosplayed at least once.
[ ] You counted Halloween costumes from when you were a kid as cosplay.
[ ] You cosplay in public.
[ ] You've been to at least one anime convention.
[ ] You cosplayed there.
[ ] You traveled more than 200 miles to get there.
[x] You like Japanese food.
[x] You like any of the following in particular: sushi, pocky, cheap ramen, ramune.
[x] You know that sushi isn't just raw fish.
[ ] You've made bento lunch.
[ ] You've made a charabento
[ ] You go to the Asian shop on a regular basis.
[ ] You've actually been to Japan.
[ ] You've been to Japan solely for the anime, videogames or idols.
[x] You're learning/know Japanese.
[ ] You're learning it to watch anime without subtitles.
[ ] You have Japanese blood.
[ ] You CLAIM to have Japanese blood.
[x] You're in love with a fictional character made by Japanese people.
[ ] You claim you're married to said fictional character.
[x] Anime is so much better than western cartoons.
[x] You call all cartoons anime.
[ ] Anyone who hates anime is dead to you.
[ ] You call characters by their original Japanese names
[x] You call characters by their romaji spelling
[ ] You defend Pearl Harbour.
[ ] You think Pearl Harbour's a new anime that just started airing in Japan.
[ ] You think Japan is the greatest country on Earth.
[ ] You think that just because they make the best media.
[x] You listen to J-music.
[ ] Exclusively.
[ ] You know that it's pronounced "Gakuto" and not "Gackt".
[ ] You can name all the Vocaloids.
[ ] WITHOUT looking it up.
[ ] You LOVE Hetalia. (never seen it
but I want to 
)
[ ] You think Japan is the best character.
[ ] You wear items of anime-related clothing in public.
[ ] You play only Japanese videogames/watch Japanese shows/eat Japanese food.
[ ] You use Japanese honorifics.
[ ] To refer to yourself.
[ ] Your entire room is full of anime merchandise.
[ ] You changed your name to something Japanese.
[ ] Legally.
[ ] You want to give your kid a Japanese name.
[ ] You want to name your kid after an anime character.
[ ] You've considered having surgery to look oriental.
[ ] You've had it done.
[ ] You stalk the Japanese exchange students.
[ ] You've been arrested for doing so.
[x] You use memes in daily conversation.
[x] You watch abridged series.
[x] You get most of the jokes.
[x] You use tildes while typing~
[x] You use Japanese emoticons :3
[ ] You make attempt to Japanese sounding by the Engrish typing.
[ ] You claim you're Japanese on your dA/Facebook/Myspace/whatever.
[x] You're not.
[x] You're not even Asian.
[ ] If you're Asian, you think doing Japanese stuff helps you get in touch with your heritage.
[x] And you're not even Japanese.
[ ] People call you a weeaboo.
[ ] You prefer the term otaku.
[ ] You break out into Caramelldansen in public.
[ ] You want to date a Japanese person.
[ ] No other nationality will do.
[x] You watch Naruto.(I READ Naruto... but I whatever x] )
[ ] You wear the headbands. (If I had one... which I want x] )
[ ] Every day.
[ ] You're bitching at me because they're properly called "forehead protectors"
[ ] You bought said headban- erm FOREHEAD PROTECTOR at Hot Topic.
[ ] You act out scenes from the show.
[ ] FFVII is the best game ever.
[x] Sephiroth is yours.
[x] Kingdom Hearts is awesome. (SUPERSPECIALAWESOMENESS OF AWESOME!!)
[x] AxelxRoxas is KAWAII DESU NE~~~!!
[x] You wish you owned a real Death Note.
[ ] Touhou rocks your life.
[ ] Anime dubs are the spawn of Satan.
[x] Vic Miginoga is God.
[ ] It's seiyu, not voice actor.
[ ] You use Gratuitous Japanese all the time.
[ ] You add "desu" to the end of every sentence.
[ ] The only thing you draw is anime.
[ ] You're taking an art course, and all you submit is anime.
[x] All your friends also like anime.
[ ] You want to become a mangaka.
[ ] In Japan.
[ ] Most of your manga/anime is hentai.
[x] You know that "hentai" doesn't mean "porn"
[ ] You write fanfics for English class.
[ ] Yaoi fanfics.
[x] You know nothing about Japanese culture except for anime, videogames, idols, music, porn and schoolgirls.
[x] Everyone says you have no life.
[x] And it's true.
Score: 32
Score:
0-10: You probably hate Japan. You're not a weeaboo at all, not even close.
10-20: You like SOME Japanese things but, still not a weeaboo.
20-30: At this stage you probably still hate weeaboos. Good news- you're not one.
30-40: You keep your love of Japanese stuff sensible.*
40-50: You're very likely a Japanophile, but you're not as annoying as a full-blown weeaboo.
50-60: You're not a weeaboo just yet, but try and moderate it.
60-70: Weeaboo.
70-80: Please stop it!!!!!!
80-90: STOP HUMPING THE MIKU LOVE PILLOW!!!!!!11
90-100: STOP!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI(Jashin)-SAMA STOP!!!!!
101: Insane asylum tiems.
Cuteness Level (How the hell did this one get in here?! Dx)
Appearance:
[ ] You have blue/green eyes
[x] You blush a lot
[x] You giggle (I DO AT TIMES D< )
[x] You're quiet
[x] You say random silly things
[ ] You have a baby face
[ ] You wear a more down to Earth style of clothing
[ ] You don't wear halter tops or anything too showy.
[ ] You're under 5' 6" tall
TOTAL SO FAR: 4
Innocence:
[ ] You're a virgin
[ ] Just thinking of sexual things makes you blush
[ ] Your idea of a date is really romantic
[x] You sleep with a stuffed animal
[x] You like to cuddle
[x] You've never played the Nervous game (What the hell is the nervous game???)
[x] You don' even know what the Nervous game is
TOTAL SO FAR: 8
Colours:
[ ] You like the colour pink/light blue
[ ] You tend to wear bright/girly colours
TOTAL SO FAR: 8
Personality:
[x] You can be ignorant/oblivious
[x] You'd consider yourself shy
[ ] You like happy, upbeat music
[ ] YOu like 'cutesy' music
TOTAL SO FAR: 10
What YOU think is cute:
[x] You like small animals
[x] You like babies a lot
[x] Small/mini versions of things make you go 'awww <3' (not with things....)
TOTAL: 13
Multiply how many you got by four.
Repost as: "I'm 52% Cute" Well damn...maybe I shoulda been a girl ._.
I randomly stole both of these from a person I watch cuz I was bored as hell. I didn't realize the Cuteness level one was in here 'till I started doing it xD
[x] You've seen at least one anime.
[x] You've read at least one manga.
[x] You watch anime/read manga on a regular basis
[x] You think that anime and western cartoons are two separate things
[ ] You're in anime club.
[ ] You've cosplayed at least once.
[ ] You counted Halloween costumes from when you were a kid as cosplay.
[ ] You cosplay in public.
[ ] You've been to at least one anime convention.
[ ] You cosplayed there.
[ ] You traveled more than 200 miles to get there.
[x] You like Japanese food.
[x] You like any of the following in particular: sushi, pocky, cheap ramen, ramune.
[x] You know that sushi isn't just raw fish.
[ ] You've made bento lunch.
[ ] You've made a charabento
[ ] You go to the Asian shop on a regular basis.
[ ] You've actually been to Japan.
[ ] You've been to Japan solely for the anime, videogames or idols.
[x] You're learning/know Japanese.
[ ] You're learning it to watch anime without subtitles.
[ ] You have Japanese blood.
[ ] You CLAIM to have Japanese blood.
[x] You're in love with a fictional character made by Japanese people.
[ ] You claim you're married to said fictional character.
[x] Anime is so much better than western cartoons.
[x] You call all cartoons anime.
[ ] Anyone who hates anime is dead to you.
[ ] You call characters by their original Japanese names
[x] You call characters by their romaji spelling
[ ] You defend Pearl Harbour.
[ ] You think Pearl Harbour's a new anime that just started airing in Japan.
[ ] You think Japan is the greatest country on Earth.
[ ] You think that just because they make the best media.
[x] You listen to J-music.
[ ] Exclusively.
[ ] You know that it's pronounced "Gakuto" and not "Gackt".
[ ] You can name all the Vocaloids.
[ ] WITHOUT looking it up.
[ ] You LOVE Hetalia. (never seen it
but I want to )[ ] You think Japan is the best character.
[ ] You wear items of anime-related clothing in public.
[ ] You play only Japanese videogames/watch Japanese shows/eat Japanese food.
[ ] You use Japanese honorifics.
[ ] To refer to yourself.
[ ] Your entire room is full of anime merchandise.
[ ] You changed your name to something Japanese.
[ ] Legally.
[ ] You want to give your kid a Japanese name.
[ ] You want to name your kid after an anime character.
[ ] You've considered having surgery to look oriental.
[ ] You've had it done.
[ ] You stalk the Japanese exchange students.
[ ] You've been arrested for doing so.
[x] You use memes in daily conversation.
[x] You watch abridged series.
[x] You get most of the jokes.
[x] You use tildes while typing~
[x] You use Japanese emoticons :3
[ ] You make attempt to Japanese sounding by the Engrish typing.
[ ] You claim you're Japanese on your dA/Facebook/Myspace/whatever.
[x] You're not.
[x] You're not even Asian.
[ ] If you're Asian, you think doing Japanese stuff helps you get in touch with your heritage.
[x] And you're not even Japanese.
[ ] People call you a weeaboo.
[ ] You prefer the term otaku.
[ ] You break out into Caramelldansen in public.
[ ] You want to date a Japanese person.
[ ] No other nationality will do.
[x] You watch Naruto.(I READ Naruto... but I whatever x] )
[ ] You wear the headbands. (If I had one... which I want x] )
[ ] Every day.
[ ] You're bitching at me because they're properly called "forehead protectors"
[ ] You bought said headban- erm FOREHEAD PROTECTOR at Hot Topic.
[ ] You act out scenes from the show.
[ ] FFVII is the best game ever.
[x] Sephiroth is yours.
[x] Kingdom Hearts is awesome. (SUPERSPECIALAWESOMENESS OF AWESOME!!)
[x] AxelxRoxas is KAWAII DESU NE~~~!!
[x] You wish you owned a real Death Note.
[ ] Touhou rocks your life.
[ ] Anime dubs are the spawn of Satan.
[x] Vic Miginoga is God.
[ ] It's seiyu, not voice actor.
[ ] You use Gratuitous Japanese all the time.
[ ] You add "desu" to the end of every sentence.
[ ] The only thing you draw is anime.
[ ] You're taking an art course, and all you submit is anime.
[x] All your friends also like anime.
[ ] You want to become a mangaka.
[ ] In Japan.
[ ] Most of your manga/anime is hentai.
[x] You know that "hentai" doesn't mean "porn"
[ ] You write fanfics for English class.
[ ] Yaoi fanfics.
[x] You know nothing about Japanese culture except for anime, videogames, idols, music, porn and schoolgirls.
[x] Everyone says you have no life.
[x] And it's true.
Score: 32
Score:
0-10: You probably hate Japan. You're not a weeaboo at all, not even close.
10-20: You like SOME Japanese things but, still not a weeaboo.
20-30: At this stage you probably still hate weeaboos. Good news- you're not one.
30-40: You keep your love of Japanese stuff sensible.*
40-50: You're very likely a Japanophile, but you're not as annoying as a full-blown weeaboo.
50-60: You're not a weeaboo just yet, but try and moderate it.
60-70: Weeaboo.
70-80: Please stop it!!!!!!
80-90: STOP HUMPING THE MIKU LOVE PILLOW!!!!!!11
90-100: STOP!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI(Jashin)-SAMA STOP!!!!!
101: Insane asylum tiems.
Cuteness Level (How the hell did this one get in here?! Dx)
Appearance:
[ ] You have blue/green eyes
[x] You blush a lot
[x] You giggle (I DO AT TIMES D< )
[x] You're quiet
[x] You say random silly things
[ ] You have a baby face
[ ] You wear a more down to Earth style of clothing
[ ] You don't wear halter tops or anything too showy.
[ ] You're under 5' 6" tall
TOTAL SO FAR: 4
Innocence:
[ ] You're a virgin
[ ] Just thinking of sexual things makes you blush
[ ] Your idea of a date is really romantic
[x] You sleep with a stuffed animal
[x] You like to cuddle
[x] You've never played the Nervous game (What the hell is the nervous game???)
[x] You don' even know what the Nervous game is
TOTAL SO FAR: 8
Colours:
[ ] You like the colour pink/light blue
[ ] You tend to wear bright/girly colours
TOTAL SO FAR: 8
Personality:
[x] You can be ignorant/oblivious
[x] You'd consider yourself shy
[ ] You like happy, upbeat music
[ ] YOu like 'cutesy' music
TOTAL SO FAR: 10
What YOU think is cute:
[x] You like small animals
[x] You like babies a lot
[x] Small/mini versions of things make you go 'awww <3' (not with things....)
TOTAL: 13
Multiply how many you got by four.
Repost as: "I'm 52% Cute" Well damn...maybe I shoulda been a girl ._.
I randomly stole both of these from a person I watch cuz I was bored as hell. I didn't realize the Cuteness level one was in here 'till I started doing it xD
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